25 thoughts you have while getting a mani-pedi
Let me preface this by saying that I pretty much never get professional manicure/pedicures.
I know - shocking, right? I, a self-proclaimed girly-girl who is obsessed with all things beauty, never gets her nails done? I have my usual clip-and-paint routine down, so why would I pay someone else $50 to do it when I can do the same thing at home?
But when I noticed recently that my cuticles have been looking hella rank, and my fingers and toes had been polish-free (A.K.A., horrific) for several days, I decided to pop in to a local nail salon while out and about today.
Since I'm not a regular mani-pedi consumer, it was quite the experience, and my mind was swirling with a series of thoughts from the time I stepped through the door to the time I swiped my debit card and peaced out. Hopefully other mani-pedi fans can relate to my feelings throughout the experience. (Or maybe I'm the only one who keeps a running commentary in my head throughout a salon visit...)
1. Okay, sweet. Gettin' a mani-pedi. I feel like a Kardashian. Maybe I'll go get a salad after this.
2. So many colors to choose from. And are those jars of glitter? What do they do with those? This is magical.
3. Don't be all indecisive with your nail color like you are at home. Just grab a color and strut over to that giant chair and tub of water like you get mani-pedis all the time.
4. Where am I supposed to look? If I stare at what he's doing, will it make him nervous? But if I look around, will it seem like I'm avoiding eye contact?
5. Didn't they used to have TVs on the ceiling here? Oh wait, that's the dentist.
6. Are they talking about me? They're definitely talking about me. I know my feet are gross right now, okay? It's because of my, like, active lifestyle and stuff.
7. I feel like a lot of What Would You Do segments are filmed in nail salons. John Quiñones, where you at?
8. THIS TICKLES SO MUCH OMIGAWD OKAY STAY CALM
9. Is it weird to spend money on something that only lasts like a week or so? Seems kind of futile. I guess a lot of things in life are futile, like a $5 iced coffee that you drink in an hour or a 30-second roller coaster you wait two hours for. Or loving someone who will never love you back, or working your whole life for no success or recognition. Makes you wonder while we're all here, doesn't it? What's the meaning of it all?
10. I'm really glad I shaved my legs today.
11. OH NO NOT THE TICKLING THING AGAIN STAY STRONG LIBBY STAY STRONG
12. This is like a massage! Now I see why people love mani-pedis.
13. Maybe I could ask him to work some magic on my injured foot? Oh wait, he's not a physical therapist.
14. I feel like I should ask him about his family, or at least his name. I mean, he's up close and personal with my feet. This is pretty intimate, after all. I feel like I should form some sort of connection with the guy.
15. That lady's eating crackers. That doesn't seem sanitary. What if she accidentally eats some chemicals? Or a toenail?
16. Okay, now we've moved on to my fingernails. I don't want to make my hand all stiff, but if I relax it, it's kind of like we're holding hands. Is that weird?
17. So many people are just staring at their phone screens and scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through their news feeds. Technology has gotten so out of hand. Oh gawd, I sound like such an old person.
18. Trying... to... stay... really... still. What would happen if I just spazzed out right now?
19. Nail artists are so talented. I don't know many
people who can paint flowers the size of an ant.
20. Does this weird blue light thing actually dry them faster or is it for dramatic effect?
21. Aww, he's putting my flip-flops on for me. How sweet. I feel like Cinderella.
22. I want to pay with cash, but I feel really cool handing over a debit card. Just put it on the plastic, darling. Oh, and call me Muffy.
23. Muffy Kardashian. I like the sound of that.
24. Oh no, what if I trip or something in the parking lot and completely obliterate all the hard work he just did on my nails? Nail polish would be spurting everywhere, like the blood in that scene in Psycho. Or you know, just a little smudge or two.
25. Don't worry everyone, I will be very careful! Thank you and goodbye! [blows kisses to the bewildered-looking staff]
I know - shocking, right? I, a self-proclaimed girly-girl who is obsessed with all things beauty, never gets her nails done? I have my usual clip-and-paint routine down, so why would I pay someone else $50 to do it when I can do the same thing at home?
But when I noticed recently that my cuticles have been looking hella rank, and my fingers and toes had been polish-free (A.K.A., horrific) for several days, I decided to pop in to a local nail salon while out and about today.
Since I'm not a regular mani-pedi consumer, it was quite the experience, and my mind was swirling with a series of thoughts from the time I stepped through the door to the time I swiped my debit card and peaced out. Hopefully other mani-pedi fans can relate to my feelings throughout the experience. (Or maybe I'm the only one who keeps a running commentary in my head throughout a salon visit...)
 |
| Fine craftsmanship: The outcome of today's salon visit. It's really hard to make feet pictures look good, yet I tried. No need to thank me. |
1. Okay, sweet. Gettin' a mani-pedi. I feel like a Kardashian. Maybe I'll go get a salad after this.
2. So many colors to choose from. And are those jars of glitter? What do they do with those? This is magical.
3. Don't be all indecisive with your nail color like you are at home. Just grab a color and strut over to that giant chair and tub of water like you get mani-pedis all the time.
4. Where am I supposed to look? If I stare at what he's doing, will it make him nervous? But if I look around, will it seem like I'm avoiding eye contact?
5. Didn't they used to have TVs on the ceiling here? Oh wait, that's the dentist.
6. Are they talking about me? They're definitely talking about me. I know my feet are gross right now, okay? It's because of my, like, active lifestyle and stuff.
8. THIS TICKLES SO MUCH OMIGAWD OKAY STAY CALM
9. Is it weird to spend money on something that only lasts like a week or so? Seems kind of futile. I guess a lot of things in life are futile, like a $5 iced coffee that you drink in an hour or a 30-second roller coaster you wait two hours for. Or loving someone who will never love you back, or working your whole life for no success or recognition. Makes you wonder while we're all here, doesn't it? What's the meaning of it all?
10. I'm really glad I shaved my legs today.
11. OH NO NOT THE TICKLING THING AGAIN STAY STRONG LIBBY STAY STRONG
12. This is like a massage! Now I see why people love mani-pedis.
13. Maybe I could ask him to work some magic on my injured foot? Oh wait, he's not a physical therapist.
14. I feel like I should ask him about his family, or at least his name. I mean, he's up close and personal with my feet. This is pretty intimate, after all. I feel like I should form some sort of connection with the guy.
15. That lady's eating crackers. That doesn't seem sanitary. What if she accidentally eats some chemicals? Or a toenail?
 |
| Fine craftsmanship: Hand version. Not a smudge or smear in sight. Maybe this "professional mani" thing is worth it after all... |
16. Okay, now we've moved on to my fingernails. I don't want to make my hand all stiff, but if I relax it, it's kind of like we're holding hands. Is that weird?
17. So many people are just staring at their phone screens and scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through their news feeds. Technology has gotten so out of hand. Oh gawd, I sound like such an old person.
18. Trying... to... stay... really... still. What would happen if I just spazzed out right now?
19. Nail artists are so talented. I don't know many
people who can paint flowers the size of an ant.
20. Does this weird blue light thing actually dry them faster or is it for dramatic effect?
21. Aww, he's putting my flip-flops on for me. How sweet. I feel like Cinderella.
22. I want to pay with cash, but I feel really cool handing over a debit card. Just put it on the plastic, darling. Oh, and call me Muffy.
23. Muffy Kardashian. I like the sound of that.
24. Oh no, what if I trip or something in the parking lot and completely obliterate all the hard work he just did on my nails? Nail polish would be spurting everywhere, like the blood in that scene in Psycho. Or you know, just a little smudge or two.
25. Don't worry everyone, I will be very careful! Thank you and goodbye! [blows kisses to the bewildered-looking staff]
YES!!!! LOL. soooo true. "What if I spazz out right now?" Lol. Good post, Muffy
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